Tired and Stalled

I am exhausted…unfortunately it is the I am ill type and not the I am overworked type.  Right now I would love it to be the last one.

And I am spiritually tapped out…stalled.  I am still having a daily quiet time but I feel…blah…

So the spiritual stall is worrying me more than the physical exhaustion and I don’t know what to do.  I am praying, in God’s Word and have even been face down on the floor praying and listening for God to speak into my soul.  I so need God to speak to my soul right now.  But I feel like I am just going through the motions.

Do you ever have these seasons?

And so I start preparing for our fall Bible study called “Stuck” by Jennie Allen.  And God is starting to shine a light into my stuck spot.

I come across this quote, originally from Andrew Murray’s book “Humility”.

“He defines humility as being ‘fully occupied with God.’ We must move our eyes from our sin to God or we will stay stuck in our sin.  His grace is why we can confess our sin and find freedom.  We live in His grace and then we give His grace to everyone we encounter”

I think I am stuck in my sin, my self.  And I need to get out of my own head and into God’s mind more fully.  I need to be fully occupied with God.  Pray for me in this…that I can work through all of this…

Also pray for the physical fatigue.  I think this is contributing to my “self-focus” because all I can think about is what is wrong with me.  As I seek medical attention (going to the Dr. tomorrow) and get some answers I will keep you all posted but in the meantime pray that I can focus on God through all of this…His grace…His love…HIM and HIM alone.

And I am praying that you become more God focused and less self-focused as you spend time with Him and in His Word.

Sisters in Christ, Shoulder to Shoulder

A little bit of coffee and a whole lot of Jesus

Some days I just feel weary…mentally, physically, emotionally.  And I have a teenage daughter at home so, need I say more? It is the end of her junior year and after tomorrow she will officially be a senior.  But as a mom sometimes I get really weary helping her solve all the “end of the world” problems that come up in her life.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being her mom.  She is an amazing, godly girl and I love being the one God has put in her life to impart wisdom and guidance.  But some days I don’t want to tackle any one else’s problems but mine.  I don’t want to deal with the hormones and “talking off the ledge” moments when things don’t go right in her little world.  Mostly because I want to make everything amazing for her and I don’t want her to have struggles and I want life to be better for her than it was for me at this age.  But I can’t, so I keep being mommy and I keep helping her figure it out.

But yesterday I got a delivery that has just made my day today!  I bought a new Keurig for my office and it arrived So today I had an amazing cup of coffee in my office and opened the second gift I received today.  God’s Word…encouraging words…reassurance…

And that makes the days easier…a little bit of coffee and a WHOLE lot of Jesus.  So today I rest in Him.

“He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:2-3a

Just closing my eyes, taking a deep breath of the rich aroma of my coffee and picturing walking by a stream with the Lord and laying in the grass and watching the clouds go by makes me feel so peaceful.  That’s what God wants for me and for you.

So here’s what I want you to do today:

Make a cup of something warm and cozy.
Find a quiet spot.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
And picture God walking with you along those quiet waters.
And give him your weariness, your struggles, your anxiety.
Rest in Him.

So here God goes again…

Tugging at my heart and mind in a direction that wasn’t immediately on my radar when I started working in women’s ministry at a large church last September.  The year has been a whirlwind of activity and planning without much prep time.  So it has felt like the ministry is just moving along while I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water.  It has been exhausting.

Summer is here for my ministry so I have some time to plan and dream and pray about what the next year should look like.  And hopefully have a better plan to organize the ministry this year.  And I realize God has put the next step right in front of me, preparing me this whole year for what’s next in my ministry life.

First, God placed a couple of college girls in my Bible study group.  We have built relationships, prayed together and studied God’s Word together this past year.  It has been amazing!  I love the fresh faith they have and they love the wisdom and experience I have.  Now I want more, so I started to pray.

“How can I reach out better and build relationships with younger women in our church?”

God dropped an opportunity right in my lap that is outside my comfort zone.  But I said yes and I am now coaching a Smashball Team for our college/young adult ministry this summer. Me!  The most uncoordinated person when it comes to sports.  But I guess you don’t have to be too coordinated to play soccer inside a big beach ball.

And I kept praying….

God has been calling me to reach out to these younger women.  I see the difference it has made in the lives of a couple young college girls and I want more.  I want to see God build bridges between women of all ages.  I believe God is telling me that I am the one to do it.  So I have started to research how to build bridges and mentor younger women.

God finally drove the message home a little more for me today as I am reading the (in)courage blog.  I don’t have it all figured out yet: how to tear down walls and build bridges.  But God’s not going to wait for me to figure out.  He already has it figured out and I just need to be obedient.  So I am relying on God  100%.  It is exciting to see God clearly directing me and scary to not know exactly where I am going.  But I love the exhilaration of knowing He is speaking to me and guiding me on a great adventure.  So I am praying, seeking, and stepping out in obedience to God to build bridges with younger women, mentor others and let God transform our lives

Introductions

I guess I should start by introducing myself.  I am living my dream of God-follower, wife, and mom.  I am blissfully married to the man of my dreams and I am the proud mom of a 20 year old son in the Marine Corps. and 16 year old daughter in high school.  I have the privilege of working in Women’s Ministry for a large church in Southern California.  I love my life but realize daily that I need large doses of the outrageous mercy of God on a daily basis!  I experience the joy of the the Lord in laughter and music so I sing worship songs very loudly in my car and I love to laugh all the time!  So come sing and laugh with me, and experience the outrageous mercy and joy of the Lord!

Warning: Sometimes the journey of outrageous mercy is very messy!